Episode 1.3- Trouble with the Kitchen

Lemon-Lime: "What is going on?"

Violet: "We heard someone screaming down here."

Rosebush: "It was that ghastly pale woman waiting on us. She was alone in the kitchen when the lights went out and someone attacked her. Got her just desserts for sure. She should have fed them to us instead."

Green: "But this is horrible! She was a nice woman! Now who knows what could have happened to her? And she is trapped in the kitchen, alone! She locked herself in, you know!"

Brown: "If she locked herself in, why doesn't she just lock herself out?"

Green: "Who knows what could have become of her?"

Peacock: "Don't be ridiculous, she was clearly just murdered. She should never have come to work here. She deserved it."

Plumtree: "How can you be so sure she was murdered?"

Peacock: "How can you be so daft as to think she wasn't murdered? One staff member has been murdered already, it isn't much of a stretch to think the other could follow suit."

Scarlet: "Well, I'm frightened! If there's a murdererer going around murderering, any one of us could be next. We have to stick together."

Peach: "Because that will do us so much good when the lights go off again!"

Scarlet: "Well, someone has to turn off the lights."

Gray: "I think it is obvious that the murderer isn't one of us. It is this Mr. Boddy fellow. He is to blame!"

Peacock: "Poppycock, Mr. Boddy is a respectable man."

Peach: "What kind of respectable man invites a bunch of guests to a house to be murdered?"

Brown: "Well, I'm going to try the door. If Mrs. White is lying in there dead, wouldn't the murderer have had to unlock it in order to get in and kill her?"

Violet: "Perhaps not. Something is wrong about this house."

Lemon-Lime: "Don't be ridiculous, you idiots! Of course there is something wrong about this house. Isn't it exciting?"

Violet: "I know! It is an adventure! And once all you freaks are picked off, I won't have to deal with you anymore."

Lemon-Lime: "Who said anything about anyone else being picked off? I'm sure it was just the staff."

Brown: "Even if it was just the staff, there have been two murders so far that need to be solved and a madman here murdering them. And the door is still locked, so the murderer must have gotten in another way."

Lemon-Lime: "I leave it to the police to solve murders and to us to have fun."

Brown: "But this is not a party anymore! Two people have died!"

Peach: "I suggest we all leave this cursed manor as soon as possible."

Gray: "I don't think we can leave. When was the boat supposed to come back?"

Plumtree: "Two weeks wasn't it? Or a month? I can't remember, two people are dead! One person was one thing but two people... That's like two things?"

Brown: "But unless we do something there will be a whole lot more than two things."

Lemon-Lime: "You people are no fun."

Green: "Oh the Lord is disgraced by your continued existence! We need to do something about multiple murders, and that something is not have fun!"

Lemon-Lime: "Well it would lighten the mood."

Peach: "Well, I don't know about all of you, but I think we are all terribly tired and nothing is going to be done about this tonight. We should all go to bed."

Plumtree: "But suppose someone murders you tonight!"

Peach: "We can lock the doors to our rooms!"

Brown: "They only lock from the outside!"

Peach: "I'll lock them, and keep the key. I'll sleep with it."

Plumtree: "But suppose you are the murderer!"

Peacock: "Oh shut up, all of you! No one is getting murdered. This killer was just sick of the staff being irritating. It is painfully obvious."

Scarlet: "It is painful to be murdered."

Peacock: "Depends on the method."

Scarlet: "Ah."

Rosebush: "Well, I agree with Peacock. The best way to proceed is to go to bed and act as though none of this had ever happened."

Gray: "Or that could be the worst way to proceed."

Scarlet: "Mr. Gray, if a murderer comes after me, will you protect me?"

Gray: "Probably not."

Scarlet: "Aww, how sweet! We should go make out."

Green: "I shall leave you all to bicker. I am headed to bed. May I be here again to greet you come tomorrow."

Violet: "I am going too. And we should do something about all of these corpses lying about. Task for tomorrow I guess. Good night all!"

Peach: "I certainly hope that we all survive the night."

Lemon-Lime: "Some of you might as well have died already."

Rosebush: "Not me, I'm sure?"

Lemon-Lime: "Oh no, not you your lordship! You are a hoot!"

Peacock: "Hoot?"

Lemon-Lime: "And Peacock is the owl because you are always all up her throat."

Peacock: "Excuse me?"

Brown: "Goodnight everyone!"

Scarlet: "Don't let the murderer bite!"

Plumtree: "No kidding."

Scarlet: "Look at this nice little room! A little red, maybe. But I like it."

Green: "Say, I wonder where Mustard was? Was he with us?"

Rosebush: "You have got to be kidding me."

*meanwhile, elsewhere in the house*

Mustard: "I cannot believe the kitchen door is locked. My precious mustard, I will seek thee."

"What is this I smell?"

"Musard? Why does the Study smell so strongly of mustard?"

"Hmm...I wonder if I could...."

"Here we go..."

"What is this?"

"Help! Someone help me!"

****************************************

Brown: "Harry? Are you in your room? I wish to talk to you."

"Hello? Are you here?"

"I guess he already got up."

Plumtree: "Gack! You startled me!"

Brown: "Oh there you are."

Plumtree: "What are you doing here?"

Brown: "I don't trust anyone, Harry. These people, I don't trust them."

Plumtree: "One of them is a killer, so I can see why not."

Brown: "I shouldn't have come here. I knew I didn't belong here. I knew something was wrong. And now one by one we are going to be picked off."

Plumtree: "We can't let that happen! You and I, we can't."

Brown: "What can we do? We are stuck here. We put ourselves in this mess. And we are going to pay the price."

Plumtree: "Erdried, you can't blame yourself. This is a life or death situation, yes, but nothing could have foreseen this."

Brown: "And yet I foresaw it."

Plumtree: "No you did not!"

Brown: "I told myself I shouldn't come, and yet I still came."

Plumtree: "That had nothing to do with the murders! You can't look back and wonder what if."

Brown: "But I'm not even having a good time! I miss my snake. I miss my bike. I want my life back."

Plumtree: "I know you do but come on now..."

Brown: "No, I will not come on. I want you to lock me in me in my room. I'll trust you with the key."

Plumtree: "Erdried, I would but...I can't. There is something you don't know about me, that's all I'll say. And some weather we are having, right?"

Brown: "Yes, some weather. This whole island is in mourning."

Plumtree: "And some trouble with the kitchen."

Brown: "That is what we are calling murder now? Trouble with the kitchen? Nice to know that it has been reduced to that."

Plumtree: "I'm sorry, Erdried. Maybe we can find some time to check out the library, you and I?"

Brown: "I'd like that. Let's hope we can go home and read eventually."

Lemon-Lime: "Ho, hum. Wearing my formal wear because why not?"

Lemon-Lime: "Look at the nice Ballroom! So pretty!"

Lemon-Lime: "Ah..."

Green: "Good morning, Ms. Lime."

Lemon-Lime: "Oh, hello Reverend."

Green: "I see someone is kind! There is food aplenty in here! How did you know to come in here?"

Lemon-Lime: "How did you know to come in here?"

Green: "I was following you."

Lemon-Lime: "So you could get us alone together?"

Green: "Don't be ridiculous! I am a man of the cloth! I would do no such thing."

Lemon-Lime: "I wouldn't want to be ridiculous, would I?"

Green: "You, Ms. Lime, are ridiculous."

Lemon-Lime: "You are less so, but you are annoying."

Green: "At least I am not a measly sinner!"

Lemon-Lime: "I am no sinner Reverend."

Green: "Certainly. Of course you aren't."

Green: "Sit down, Miss Lemon-Lime."

Lemon-Lime: "I really needed you to tell me to sit down."

Green: "Laurel, I need to talk to you. Do you ever get the feeling you are missing something?"

Lemon-Lime: "Constantly. Because I'm constantly missing something."

Green: "I mean right now."

Lemon-Lime: "No. Why?"

Green: "This house has secrets, Lemon-Lime. I know that. But I feel like there is something right under our noses that we refuse to look at."

Lemon-Lime: "I think we refuse to look at a lot of things. The murderer is one of them."

Green: "Do you think one of these people is the killer, Laurel? I don't. I can't."

Lemon-Lime: "Who else would be?"

Green: "It is obvious it is Mr. Boddy. He invited us all here to kill us. I'm an old man, Laurel. I have already lived. I feel terrible for those of you who have yet to live your lives."

Lemon-Lime: "Pfft, you are such a downer. I do not buy for a second that we all are going to die."

Green: "Oh, I do. I definitely do. We are all going to die if we can't catch Mr. Boddy."

Lemon-Lime: "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Mustard: "Help! Help me!"

Green: "What was that?"

Lemon-Lime: "Nothing I'm sure."

Scarlet: "I need to speak with you, Mrs. Peacock."

Peacock: "Whatever about?"

Scarlet: "In private!"

Peacock: "In private? How do I know you don't plan on murdering me?"

Scarlet: "I am not murdering anyone at the time being."

Peacock: "Time being?"

Scarlet: "Yes! You need to be told."

Peacock: "Told what?"

Scarlet: "Secrets are currency."

Peacock: "What?"

Scarlet: "The bathroom has a door that locks on the inside."

Peacock: "What?!?"

Scarlet: "We are safe there."

Peacock: "And you expect me to go in there?!? Alone, in the bathroom, with you? Why you impotent child!"

Scarlet: "Secrets are currency. Secrets are currency and secrets are written on pieces of paper under pillows."

Peacock: "What?!?"

Scarlet: "In the bathroom!"

Peaock: "Fine, but I won't pretend to like it."

Scarlet: "There, the door is locked. We are alone. So, um, I was fluffing my pillow last night."

Peacock: "Yes?"

Scarlet: "Yes."

Peacock: "And?"

Scarlet: "And what?"

Peacock: "What about your pillow?"

Scarlet: "What pillow?"

Peacock: "Um..."

Scarlet: "Oh yes, and a piece of paper fell out. And on it was a secret."

Peacock: "What secret?"

Scarlet: "That's a secret."

Peacock: "Then why even bother telling me?"

Scarlet: "How could I not tell you? 

Peacock: "You could very well have not told me!"

Scarlet: "But it was, like, about you. I know it was. I know, I know it was talking about like you and me and pregnancy..."

Peacock: "Pregnancy?!?"

Scarlet: "And I know that I now hate you."

Peacock: "I have never been pregnant! I have no children!"

Scarlet: "I'm not in control, Mrs. Peacock. I know too much and too little."

Peacock: "I most certainly did not give birth to you!"

Scarlet: "Who did the hell did then?!?"

Peacock: "No! It...it isn't possible."

Scarlet: "You are going to die now, and I've never been so glad."

Violet: "Hello gents. What is going on here?"

Rosebush: "I'd imagine we are having a party."

Violet: "A party? How fun!"

Rosebush: "This whole thing is a party. A sick, sadistic party, but a party nonetheless. Mr. Boddy does not know how to keep his guests entertained."

Violet: "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I feel entertained. And those types of parties are often the best, in my experience."

Rosebush: "And what sort of experience is that?"

Gray: "Murder?"

Violet: "Maybe. Should I go have a talk with the old Reverend? Confess my sins before it is my time to go?"

Rosebush: "I don't find him saintly. I find him suspicious."

Violet: "We are all suspicious! Mr. Boddy intentionally brought a group of motley, suspicious people here to kill! It is a game. We are the mice and Mr. Boddy has put plenty of poison everywhere for us to kill ourselves. I assume you notice that I'm wearing my formalwear? I wanted to look good when I was found dead."

Rosebush: "Don't be ridiculous. We are all safe. Those first deaths were entertainment. They were nobodies. He won't touch the somebodies. Trust me."

Gray: "What decides who is somebody?

Violet: "The amount of money they have, clearly."

Rosebush: "Indeed. We are the somebodies, the elite. They are the nobodies."

'

Violet: "They? As in everyone but us three? I don't agree with that. That Peacock woman is someone. Deliciously so."

Rosebush: "Well I'm going to go read something, as entertaining as sitting and doing nothing is."

Violet: "Don't you find Mrs. Peacock delicious?"

Rosebush: "Nice and tart too. She is a first class woman."

Violet: "What about that pathetic Brown girl? I never thought someone could look so miserable all the time."

Gray: "Well, to be fair, we should be miserable after multiple murders..."

Violet: "Oh shut up, like I care! She needs to lighten up."

Rosebush: "Oh of course? And that man, Prunetree was it?"

Violet: "Yes! That reminds me! I need to remember what Roger told me! He said to--"

Rosebush: "Oh, hello Mr. Mustard."

Mustard: "Hello. Thank goodness someone game along and let me out."

Rosebush: "What is this place?"

Mustard: "Don't you dare let the door shut behind you! NOOOO!"

Violet: "What the hell was that? Some sort of passageway?"

*Mustard slaps Rosebush*

Rosebush: "You madman! What was that for?"

Mustard: "YOU LET THE DAMN DOOR SHUT!"

Rosebush: "It locks behind us?"

Mustard: "Yes!"

Rosebush: "No it doesn't! Look, I can leave so easily!"

Mustard: "Hmph. Must have been jammed."

Rosebush: "Doubtful."

Violet: "This house sure is full of secrets isn't it."

Rosebush: "You know what else is full of secrets? The kitchen."

Violet: "And the secret passageways?"

Rosebush: "Well, where do you think this passageway leads?"

Gray: "Mustard?"

Mustard: "It leads to nowhere! Just a blank wall!"

Gray: "Yeah, sure it does. I'll go see where it leads and prove that it is you, Mr. Mustard."

Mustard: "Wait! I'm telling the truth! You mustn't go alone, it is dangerous! And it smells strongly of mustard!"

Rosebush: "Maybe because it leads to the kitchen, where mustard is stored."

Mustard: "But it doesn't!"

Gray: "Well, I'll go prove you wrong. I knew it was suspicious that you were hanging out in there alone."

Gray: "Wait, what are you doing here?"

Peach: "I was wondering how long it would take all of you to discover this."

Gray: "Did you know about this passage?"

Peach: "I just discovered it."

Gray: "And you expect me to believe that? You could be the killer!"

Peach: "Don't be daft, Mr. Gray. If I were the killer, I would have already killed you."

Gray: "How do I know that you want to kill me?"

Peach: "Don't be daft."

Gray: "I'm not being daft."

Peach: "Hmm?"

Gray: "I'm not!"

Peach: "Don't be daft."

Gray: "Stop saying that!"

Peach: "That Scarlet girl is either a fool or the murderer. That is all."

Gray: "What makes you say that?"

Peach: "This is a fight to stay alive. And she is not fighting. She has given in. And she gives information too freely. That's all I'm going to say. I'll leave it to you to discover the other passage."

Gray: "There's another one? I feel like stuff is going on that no one tells me about."

Peach: "Most of these people are being led like pigs to the slaughter. Let them, I say. Just don't fall into that trap. Trust me, I know."

Gray: "Why are you telling this to me?"

Peach: "Because I need to. That is a condition. And I chose someone who I knew would soon be dead anyway."

Gray: "I really have no clue what you are talking about."

Peach: "You will. Trust me."

Gray: "How can you expect me to trust anyone?"

Peach: "Here we are."

Gray: "Wait, where are we?"

Peach: "Watch and learn. And then try not to die. You can bet I will be."

Gray: "What the heck?"

Peach: "I told you this house was full of secrets, but none that can't be easily solved. Our murderer is no match for me."

Gray: "How do you know that?"

Peach: "This house. It is trying to confuse us, and failing."

Gray: "Oh, hello there, White corpse."

Peach: "Hello indeed."

Peacock: "Hello indeed."

Gray: "How did any of you even get in here? Wasn't the door locked?"

Peach: "This room! It is trouble! It is a trap! It was meant to distract us, and we fell into it! How stupid could the two of you get?"

Gray: "And Rosebush, weren't you just in the Study? And Peach, how did you get in the passage? You haven't explained."

Peacock: "It wasn't that difficult to get in, and it is no trap."

Rosebush: "She's right. It is mind-numbingly simple."

Gray: "Can someone tell me what is going on? Please?"

Peach: "If you haven't figured it out already, you deserve to die."

Gray: "What?!?"

Peacock: "Oh come on, no one is dying. I am going to my chamber."

Peach: "No, stop!"

Scarlet: "Mrs. Peacock, I told them. I couldn't hold it in and you did nothing to console, so you deserve it."

Peacock: "You what?!?"

Scarlet: "I told Lemon-Lime and Green your secret."

Lemon-Lime: "You miserable woman!"

Peacock: "Respect your elders!"

Green: "God will have his revenge on her in hell!"

Peacock: "Respect your youngers!"

Brown: "What is going on in there? How did so many of you get in there? Wasn't there trouble with the kitchen?"

Plumtree: "That's what I thought."

Green: "We got in! It was so simple! None of us thought to--"

Mustard: "Um, can someone unlock this door again?"

Peach: "It was unlocked a second ago."

Violet: "Well, it isn't now. What is going on?!?"

Mustard: "Mr. Boddy is about to strike."

Violet: "No! You don't think..."

Peach: "You people are impossible! Quit bickering please! Sit down and we will work this out."

Rosebush: "I'm already sitting, genius. What does that accomplish?"

Peach: "Don't be sharp with me! Don't you--"

Everyone: "Ah!"

Peacock: "I did it for you, just like you told me."

?????: "Yes, indeed. You've been a loyal servant and you will be rewarded."

Peacock: "I'm sure I will."

????: "Yes."

Peacock: "I wanted to thank you for letting my secret out."

?????: "Oh, my pleasure."

Peacock: "What?"

*smacks her in the head with fist*

?????: "Goodbye, Mrs. Peacock. You think you wouldn't have seen this coming!"

Peacock: "How dare you! Do you know who I am?"

????: "I do. I like to know who I'm killing, I think you would've realized that by now."

Peacock: "Ah! Help! Anyone! Ah!"

????: "Three down, and nine left to pick off one by one. Who will be next? Any volunteers? Muahahahahahahaha!"